MARKING TIME

I mark time by rolls of toilet paper
Thrown away, one square still attached,
Fluttering in the brief moment as they bounce in and out
of the garbage…

by the razors piling up on the lintel of my bathtub
lubricant strip half worn away.

by the bottles of Ketel One, Bombay Sapphire, and Teton Glacier,
empty, washed, stacked and unbroken.

by the unwashed shirts that cover my floor, reeking of cologne, spilled vodka, sweat and barroom cigarettes.

I mark time by the phone numbers of women I no longer call, and who don’t call me.

I mark time by the days I wasn’t absent from work, and the mornings I feel I should be.

What to say on that morning when,
You look in the mirror,
And the dark sunken bags under your eyes
Seem a shade too comforting….

What to say when your stomach boils
With the lingering emptiness
Wanting sustenance you know you can’t hold down,
And emotions you should have cast away,

Like the toilet paper and razors, bottles, shirts and phone numbers.
And everything else that’s disposable.

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